And some of you losers are pry at work... here's a lil sumthin sumthin for ya!

Great Email from Management

TO: All Employees
RE: Swearing at work

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.

Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.

We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.

Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.

1) TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.

2) TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a f___ing bit__.

3) TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

4) TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.

5) TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh___ing me!

6) TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.

7) TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my f___ing problem.

8) TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f___?

9) TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.

10) TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ didn't you tell me sooner?

11) TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.

12) TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.

13) TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.

14) TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F__ it, I'm on salary.

15) TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.

16) TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This f___ing job sucks.

17) TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?

18) TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.

Labels: funny

So, I had a good birthday (altho I cant wait for VEGAS BAYBEE!) but iits 2:30 am , im a bit drunkish. I sat at the FTF table w $10 and left w $50. If that aint a bday present I dont know what is.

Anyhow, for posterity sake, this is the song I heard last before I went to bed...

Lenny Kravitz- Just Be A Woman

You ask me
How should I be to you ?
You ask me
To tell you what to do
You ask me
How can I make it through ?
You want me
But don't know what to do
And I just want you to
Be true

Just be a woman
Just be a woman

You ask me
How can I make you smile ?
You ask me
How can I make it right ?
But darling
Just take a look inside
The answers are within your own mind
And I just want you to be you

Just be a woman
That's all you got to do
Just be a woman

Just be a woman
Do what you got to do
Just be a woman
That's all you got to do
Just be a woman
That's all I got to say
Just be a woman

and as I write this another song came on my ipod (GOD DAMN IT)

ASHES -PEPPER


It’s been so long
It’s hard to breathe when the trust is gone
A face of steal
Just melts away in the weather

You got a lot to weigh so weigh it
If you got a lot to say just say it
Aren’t you tired of wastin fuel?
So now I hand the fuse to you

burn it all
Let’s burn it all
Let fire fall
Let fire fall
What’s done is done
It’s in the past
Its ashes
Im tired of you
You’re tired of me
I hate the things you said to me
Now here’s your chance to take it back
Its ashes
Ash, ash

Maybe I should drive home
Far from sober
Maybe I should sleep alone
Cause I don’t have a rubber

You got a lot to weigh so weigh it
If you got a lot to say just say it
Aren’t you tired of wastin fuel?
So now I hand the fuse to you

I run away just to see
How much it really means to me
Oh my god
Who the hell has been washin your brain?
Just lose the girl
And start again
Maybe then, maybe then
Maybe then, maybe then

Let’s burn it all
Let’s burn it all
Let fire fall
Let fire fall
What’s done is done
It’s in the past
Its ashes
Im tired of you
You’re tired of me
I hate the things you said to me
Now here’s your chance to take it back
Its ashes
Oh its ashes
Ashes
Its ashes x3
Oh, oh its ashes


gnite 20's... it was good.

Labels: life

You'll have to read back one post to get the first 11, but here are the rest....

** disclaimer, just because I mention things here, doesn't mean I'm proud of it!

#12 – Even tho I was a complete degenerate in High School I somehow made it onto Student Senate for a year and we did one of those “Trust Camps” where you have to do a purdy dangerous obstacle course and rely on the people with you to get thru. We had to climb on high wires thru trees and even did a 200+ foot zip line.

#13- My first job was at Friendly’s, I was 15. This is also where I met my “other” friend Heather, whom I’m glad to say is no longer my friend.

#14 – I was arrested for shoplifting. But that wasn’t the half of it. The cop found papers in my purse and told my mom what they were. I had to go to court and everything! (again, Heather was with me)

#15 – I was into theater productions in high school. I did a lot of back stage stuff, prop crew, stage crew, and costume crew. The highlight was when I was the Student Director for Arsenic and Old Lace. It was a blast.

#16 – I played Volleyball until my senior year in high school, when partying took precedence. I was purdy good too.

#17 – I bungee jumped when I was a senior in high school on our senior trip. I have a HILARIOUS video of it, but alas it’s on VHS so no posting. I also went on my first white water rafting trip on my senior trip. We had a hot (and when I say hot I mean HAWT) rafting guide. When we had to paddle he would say “STROKE STROKE STROKE” and made us say it with him, uhhuh.

#18 – I have freckles, lots of em. I also had RED RED hair when I was a lil girl. The older I get the darker it gets (thank god).

#19 – When I turned 18 I felt the need to express my independence. I did so by getting a tattoo and my belly button pierced.

#20 – I partook in spring break festivities in Daytona, Florida. This is where I acquired a fond taste for Tequila, and met two life long friends, Vince and Mike.

#21 – I moved out of my house 1 month after graduating high school. I was 18 and moved to Columbus to go to OSU. I couldn’t wait to get out of my house. I asked for my graduation present to be rent thru summer. I moved out with my car loaded with all my possessions and $4 in my pocket. Needless to say, I moved back in with my mom and dad 3 years later.

#22 – My lifelong friends I mentioned earlier (from spring break) invited me on a trip thru Europe. I got a few of my friends from Columbus to go as well. We went to the UK, France, Italy, Germany and the Netherlands. I was drunkish 80% of the time (what can I say, wine is $2 a bottle in most of Europe). Since then I have been to Australia and Ireland.

#23 – I truly feel my life didn’t begin till I had Maya in 1999. I was 22 when she was born, and most of my life prior is a bit of a blur, especially my years in Columbus. In a single moment I realized that life isn’t about what you do and where you go, but about who you love and who loves you back. I also realized, in that moment, how much my parents loved me and we have been best friends ever since. I remember my mom saying to me once “I don’t know what you did with Teresa, but tell her we like you better”.

#24 – The only time I’ve ever been in an actual physical fight was with my “other” friend Heather (you know the one I’m glad I’m no longer friends with). I’ll make a long story short and just tell you that she had a drinking/drug problem, and after going out with her one night, as I put Maya in her car seat (she was just a baby) to go home, Heather attacked me from behind. I haven’t spoken to her since.

#25 – For those of you who think I have always been a lush, here’s the truth of it! Ya, before kids I drank quite a bit (but hey I wasn’t even 21 yet!), but after Maya I rarely drank. Alcohol didn’t set well with me. Beer made my hands and feet swell (still does) and wine made me fall asleep. At the time I didn’t have much will power to go buy bottle of alcohol, so I settled with not drinking much. It’s only been for the past 2 years or so that I’ve become fond of the drink again. And you can blame my brother for that.

#26 – By the time I was 22 I had worked at: Friendly’s, Cracker Barrell, The Cooker, Dayton Opera, Shuckin Shack, Lou’s Drive Thru and a couple temp places. Since then I’ve had two jobs, one at a Lighting store laying out lighting for new homes and an insurance rep.

#27 –

#28 – Although I have found a few exceptions, I really do feel men (for the most part) are idiots. Please, for your sake, don’t try to argue this point with me. You’ll lose.

#29 – When I was a kid I wanted to grow up and be… THE FIRST WOMAN PRESIDENT… such high aspirations. Little did I know I’d be 30 and still 4 years away from my first Bachelors Degree. But seriously, I had it all planned out, how I’d join the airforce, do volunteer work, become Mayor etc etc.

#30 – If I could do anything, you know, like if I won a brazillian dollars in the lottery or something… I would buy homes for my whole family on some paradise island, but spend most of my time traveling the world with my girls, taking most of the time to do aid work (and of course stopping to play poker along the way).

Labels: life

I was tagged by Sheila, and it is actually a good thing because I was working on a post for my THIRTIETH BIRTHDAY "30 things you didn't know about me". I got bored about #11 and stopped. Besides, if it bored me, imagine how much you will hate it.

So, I guess this is some sort of evil chain mail type thing and I'm supposed to TAG some other people....

So give it to me, SEVEN things I didn't know about YOU: I tag VINCE, LILLIAN, SQUIB, STEELER AND DRSUCKOUT

Oh and here's mine, but you get 11 things, cause I just happened to have it handy. (you may or may not get the other 19 tomorrow)

#1 – I was born in Dayton, Maryland, and when I was 3 months old we moved to Dayton, Ohio. My parents were so risky!

#2 – When I was little my nick name was TT. Ya, TT. In fact, some people that have known me since then (ie: family and old family friends) still call me that. It was derived from my bad walking skills when a toddler. Evidently I wobbled back n forth (or waddled) and it reminded my mom of a Weeble Wobble, which dawned the nickname Teebletobbles but she don’t tobble down. Or in short TT. And, in fact, that’s why people call me “T” to this day. I remember my mom telling me stories about when people would call me Teresa when I was a kid, and I’d say “My name isn’t Teresa, it’s TT”.

#3 – I am the youngest of 3 children, I have an older brother Dave (4 yrs my elder) and an older sister, Bethany, who is 1 year and 5 months older.

#4 – I was an “OOPS” baby, not an accident mind you, a SURPRISE! So, this is a lesson to all you moms that may have recently given birth, you CAN get pregnant while nursing.

#5 – I sucked my thumb till I was about 8, and my parents have the dentist bills to prove it. I was suckered (pun intended) into quitting by my parents promising me a trip to Hawaii if I would quit. I came back to them saying, that if I could have my birthday party that year at Disney World we had a deal. Now, imagine an 8 year olds idea of a birthday party at Disney World. We are talking Mickey Mouse and Cinderella singing me Happy Birthday. But instead, I got a trip to Disney World, no birthday party there. I was so conned, but I haven’t sucked my thumb since.

#6 – In the second grade I got married to Matt Haupt. Wonder what he’s up to, I think I should look him up for alimony.

#7 – In the 4^th grade I broke my arm on a skateboard, and my mom didn’t take me to the doctor for a week. She thought I was faking.

#8 – I was a tomboy when a kid, and my mom kept my hair short cause I was always getting it tangled etc, which in turn made people think I was a boy. My comeback when I was called a “he” on a daily basis was “I’m a girl, DUH, I have ears pierced!”

#9 – I was the preacher’s kid till I was 15. It was a bleak existence that warped me for the rest of my life. We remind my parents of it daily.

#10 – I snuck out of my house for the first time when I was 13. I kept an old chair outside my window to climb down on when doing my sneaking. One night I forgot to put the chair back and my Dad found it outside my window. My excuse was that I was cleaning the windows. When he noticed they were still dirty, I said, “Well, a friend came over just as I was getting started and I forgot about it”. He believed me till about a month later when I was brought home by the cops after we had snuck out again and the guy who was driving us got pulled over and taken to jail. OOPS.

#11 – My best friend Heather was with me during the above incident. After it, my parents told my school they didn’t want Heather and I in the same classes anymore. It was their futile attempt to make us not be friends. Despite the next 4 years of high school being in different classes, we are still friends to this day.

Labels: random

Ya know, I see silly pictures on the internet all the time, especially when I Stumble. But the picture I'm showing you now is a store in my town. It was called Fulmer's Market.

The Fulmer's building was bought by Hock's Pharmacy (another local gig) and Hock's started having the sign changed...









he he he

Labels: funny

Well, I'll go with YES since you're reading my blog...

So do this instead. Trust me.

Thx Squib :)

Labels: random

It only took 8 years, but this morning, for the first time EVER I woke up to a clean house (that was NOT my doing), coffee and a yummy breakfast. I might be getting this crew of mine trained after all!!! I wanted to sleep in, but how can I withstand the wiles of two beautiful and sweet little girls waking me up to give me PRESENTS! I'm not that strong.

But more importantly, I want to say Happy Mother's Day to two of the best mom's ever.

My sis. Not only is she beautiful, smart, funny and loving, but she's easily chasing me down for the best Mom ever award. Not to mention, she made me my first niece, and the cutest baby EVER! Even tho this is technically her first Mother's Day, she has been a second mom to my girls since they were born. I don't know what I would do without my family's support and love.

Love you sis.
And of course, what woman could possibly compete with the woman who brought you ME?! Ya, that's what I thought. A role model, a rock, a wonderful Mother and the best GRANNY anyone could ask for.

I love you Mom.So, don't forget today to take a moment to say thanks to the woman in your life who does things every day to make your life what it is, things you don't even notice. You have no idea how much you are loved by your Mom, until you are one.

Labels: family

Been busy as usual, school is good, getting good with Photoshop and Illustrator which is FUN! This quarter is much less stressful than last quarter, and I find myself not working quite as hard, and I also find myself getting grades that reflect that (OMGWTF B's!) but I think I can pull out the ol A's by the end of the quarter.

I turn THIRTY next week.

My bro was over yesterday and told me about a show called I Bet You with Antonio Esfandiari and Phil Laak. Just go watch it and see for yourself, I can't wait to see the rest of the episodes!

I turn 30 next week.

If you've ever wondered what SEVEN YARDS of mulch looks like, now you know.

And, for those who really want to be "in the know" it's all still sitting there in the same pile it was delivered in, and pry will be for another couple weeks. I gots other things to do!

I turn THIRTY next week.

Damn Sheila and her kids, ever since our visit last year, every day its warm out my kids bug me to do this:Good thing Sam's Club sells big ass cans of Country Time Lemonade for relative cheapness. Keeps the lil suckers happy while I play poker :)

I turn THIRTY next week.

After two years of doctor visits we finally got word from Anna's ENT that she needs her tonsils out. Somewhat happy about this, since it's such an issue for her, and somewhat weirded out by it, it is surgery after all. But in the long run, it will be so much better for her. I'll pry schedule it for the Wednesday after my Vegas trip (woot VEGAS) which is June 13th, again for those of you who wanna be "in the know". This works out cause she will be out of school (doc said 2 week recovery time) and the first half of summer quarter I only have one class a week. Also, my mom and dad are leaving that Friday for 3 weeks in WA state, so they will be able to be here as well.

I turn 30... 30! next week.

Speaking of Vegas... less than a month till we go! I'm really excited, I mean it's not often that a mother of 2 kids gets to take off to VEGAS, ALONE! Ok, so I did it for 9 days last year, but hey those were special circumstances :)

By the way, did I mention, my birthday is next week? I take cash... for those of you who want to be "in the know".

Labels: life