I think when you become a mother you should be given a handbook. Included in the handbook should be a warning:

You will never have any privacy again, ever, in your existence of servitude, ever.

Since my kids are getting older, the bathroom interuptions have become more annoying. When they are little you leave the door open on purpose, so you can hear if anything falls on their head, or they get electricuted etc etc. But as they get older, you begin to regain your pride and close the door, trusting they can go five minutes with out killing themselves.

But alas, the second that door closes a switch goes off in a child's brain to find something, SOMETHING I have to tell Mom RIGHT NOW!

I hear the pitter patter of feet down the hallway, the hand touching the door knob, I give my first warning "Don't you dare come in here", as the door begins to open and little fingers begin to inch their way in, a child's way of saying 'and you can't slam the door on me either biotch'. "Can't you let me be for FIVE MINUTES??" I say in my annoyed mother tone, "but I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING" they little voice that is about to die says, "you can TELL ME SOMETHING from outside the door!" I insist. The door begins to close, but at the last second bursts open, like the flood gates in their brains overflowing with the important information they have to tell me.

"You have to come out here and video tape us. This HAS TO GO ON AMERICA'S FUNNIES!"

"That's great Maya, but can't you let me wipe my ass first?"

I mean really, I try not to cuss in front of my kids, which at times like these is hard. So here it is, this is what was so important. If it was funny it wouldn't be so bad, maybe.



Tomorrow:

"Mommy, I can see your boobies"
"Well then close the shower curtain and get out of the bathroom"

Labels: life family